"Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."
Matthew 5:4 NKJV
Grief is something that we all have to face at some time in our lives. If it is a distant family member, it is upsetting but possibly not life-changing. However, when someone very close to us dies, the pain can be enormous. In fact, it can be so intense that it is difficult to imagine if it will ever be less hurtful. The thing is, no one expects it to happen to them or their loved ones. It happens to others and as upsetting as it is, we soon get over it and get on with our lives. However, it is not so when death strikes at someone within our close circle.
The shock of a death to a close family member, especially a spouse, mother, father or even a child, can leave a person in total shock, in fact numb. It is very difficult to process what has happened and our minds can become scrambled as we attempt to make some sense of it all. There are no words that can be said that will make any difference to such a loss, it just takes time to be able to work through it all; and this time is immeasurable.
Dr Colin Murray-Parkes, a leading British Psychiatrist specialising in grief and bereavement, writes:
“The pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love:it is perhaps the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment. To ignore this fact, or to pretend that it is not so, is to put on emotional blinkers which leave us unprepared for the losses that will inevitably occur in our own lives and unprepared to help others cope with losses in theirs.”
Grief is the price we pay for love and the only way around it would be to avoid love all together, which is an impossible road to take. We all need to love and be loved. It's a part of life and this is why it becomes so difficult when loss strikes.
There is a way through though but it takes some time to be able to reach it. You may be going through bereavement at this time and so you know just how it feels. There are certain stages that have to be worked through and these include denial, anger and depression right through to acceptance and being able to move on. The moving on period, can be known as the 'Letting go' stage. This is where the grieving person reaches a stage where they feel a little stronger and begin to realise that 'there is life out there'. This can then be a time where letting go of the pain - not the memory of the person - can begin. As the pain is released from the mind, the grieving person is better placed to find a way forward taking with them the wonderful memories of the person who died. I must stress, that this is not easy and can take a long time to put into action, with many relapses.
For the Christian, there is the peace that their loved one is now with Jesus in Heaven and the assurance that one day, they will be re-united. There is also the assurance that Jesus is right beside you, holding your hand and helping you to walk through all of this.
May I add, that whatever you are going through at this time, the sun will shine again in your life. I can't say when however. Until then, Jesus will never leave you.
Copyriight 2020 Grahame Howard
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