How to deal with past hurts

"Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old."    Isaiah 43:18 

Most of us carry around things that have hurt us in the past. Some past hurts are welded into our hearts and seem impossible to let go of. But they do need to be released. Letting go of past hurts is the way to a new future. Hanging on to things of the past can lead to problems when confronted with similar things that happen. Defence mechanisms kick in and the old, 'I'll never let that happen to me again, surfaces. Does this sound familiar?

Let's look at five areas that can help in letting go of past hurts:

(1)  Make the decision to let it go. Things don't disappear on their own.

This decision has to be made before you can move forward in freedom. Hanging on to the past is like walking in chains. You get nowhere and just carry round a heavy load that holds you back.

(2)  Express your pain and your responsibility.

Pain, if allowed to remain internalised, can be difficult to move. Be honest, there are always two sides to something. Perhaps, you need to own responsibility to part of the past, admitting that you too, made some mistakes before, you can move on.  

(3)  Stop being the victim and blaming others.

As we saw above, there is always someone we can find to blame. Perhaps it is time to stop being the victim and admit that you were partly to blame as well.

(4)  Focus on the present - the here and now.

Past hurts are just that - they are in the past. Why take them with you? You have a new life now, the old has gone and the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17). Focus on what is ahead - NOW. 

(5)  Forgive them - and yourself.

There is always a need to forgive. You need forgiveness, so do others. Forgiving someone brings a release for the people who have hurt you and for the people you have hurt as well. Therefore, forgive them and also forgive yourself.

Charles F Stanley says: 

'God loves to work in our lives in new ways. We should not always look for Him to do in us, what He has done before, but should learn to expect the unexpected.'

The past has gone , this is why it is called the past; it was yesterday, we live for today and the best way to demonstrate this in your life is to look to the future and be grateful that you have one.

Copyright 2021 Grahame Howard.                                 

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