Loss and Change Part 3

If you're reading this in an email, scroll down to the very last link and click the link to view in your browse

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you."   Isaiah 43:2.  NKJV

As we have been looking at the various stages that one may go through during the grief, I was reminded of the profound statement that Colin Murray-Parkes OBE made:

'Grief is the price we pay for love.'

One thing is for sure, we all know that our lives will end one day; we do not live forever on this earth, that God created for us. I wonder if it has made us feel grateful for the love that we did share with our loved one. From a marital point of view, if we had never met our partner in the first place, we would not have been able to share our life with them. This is obvious. However, think of all the happiness that was shared and the special memories you have. It may help to look at these memories and put them in a special place. Some people create a memory book or, perhaps have a memory box with very special things placed in there.

One must never create an 'Elephant in the room,' situation. Some people do this. They feel that they they don't know what to say so they don't mention the person' they just talk about everyday issues. That my be the time when we continue to bring the loved one into the conversation, by, for example, 'We used to go there', 'I remember when she did this, it made me laugh.' People may feel uncomfortable when we bring our loved one into the conversation, but that is their problem, not yours.  It is always helpful to talk about them whenever you feel that it is right. Some may say, 'Since you lost your wife/husband.' As a Christian, you haven't lost them; you know where they are. They're in Heaven and one day you will be reunited. Until then, their is a separation period; but they're not lost!

Some people keep diaries and record all sorts of things during any given day. This can be useful to analyse how you are doing and see if there is anything you could change for the better. Others, write a letter to their loved ones and some have taken them to a special place, such as the graveside, or other place, and secreted the letter somewhere. It's a psychological exercise but it can work for many people.

Don't be surprised if some people, who see you in the street, shoot off into the nearest store to avoid you. They're not being rude. They just don't know what to say so that avoid the issue afraid they'll say the wrong thing. Not everyone is a grief counsellor.

One major thing, make sure that you take care of yourself. Eat and exercise when you can and get out into the fresh air and find some leaves to kick around. It relieves stress so much. Your loved one would want you to go on; to take care of yourself and make sure that you're ok. Furthermore, God wants the same from you. If you don't wish to go to the church, that's ok but make sure that you read your bible and talk to God. He really cares for you more than you can ever imagine at this time. And He is longing for you to just throw yourself at His feet and let Him comfort and love you. 
Now that sounds a good idea to me.

Copyright 2019 Grahame Howard 

dailylifewithjesus@protonmail.com