Jealousy and the consequences

"Now Jacob cooked a stew; and Esau came in from the field, and he was weary. 30And Esau said to Jacob, “Please feed me with that same red stew, for I am weary.” Therefore his name was called Edom 31But Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright as of this day.”32And Esau said, “Look, I am about to die; so what is this birthright to me?” 33Then Jacob said, “Swear to me as of this day.”So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob".             Genesis 25:29-33    NKJV

For almost 22 years of marriage to Issac, Rebekah was barren. Then in answer to Issac's prayer she conceived. After a while, there came a struggle within her womb and God told her that 'Two nations are in your womb and the older will serve the younger.'  Gen 25:23. At birth, Esau was the firstborn quickly followed by Jacob, who demonstrated a future hold over Esau, as he was grasping his heel.

As they grew up, Esau turned into an outdoor chap and skilful hunter, whereas, Jacob liked to say at home with Rebekah, like mama's boy. Issac loved Esau best, whereas Rebekah favoured Jacob. This bad parenting obviously led to jealousy within in the family. It didn't help when Jacob realised that because of his birth, Esau was entitled to a double portion of his father's possessions. A plan was put into action initiated by Rebekah. 

One day, Jacob was at home cooking a red stew. When Esau came in from his hunting, he could smell this lovely aroma and begged Jacob give him some, and now. Jacob agreed but only if Esau would give him his birthright. Esau foolishly agreed and the prophecy of Genesis 25:23 kicked in. From now on, they would be enemies.

Jealousy was sown into Jacob's heart from the beginning. Bad parenting where one parent favoured one over the other didn't help, it led to hate. It is always wrong when parents have a favourite with their children. Check out Jacob's favouritism over Joseph and Joseph's brothers hating him. This was a learned mistake on Jacob's part, handed down to him from both Issac and Rebekah.

The family encouraged jealousy, temptation, lack of wisdom, deceit and manipulation all because their parenting skills were messed up. Rebekah refused to take notice of God's Word to her of ''Two nations are in your womb and the older will serve the younger.' God was giving her fair warning of what would happen if they didn't act wisely.

Esau, when he realised what He’d done in giving up his birthright, became angry and upset when he missed out on his father’s blessing. He too, became jealous - jealous of Jacob for how he had tricked him. He planned to kill him at some stage.

Youth Custody Centres are full of young men and women who have been subjected to such behaviour. They have grown up with hate in their hearts and at a certain time in their life, vented their anger on some innocent bystander. Jealousy has been the root, together with emotional abuse, sexual abuse, neglect and physical abuse. From early days they have been like a time bomb ticking away until BOOM, they have let rip with their anger.

Good parenting is essential. It is a skill that can be passed on from generation to generation. Bad parenting is the same, with worse consequences.

If you are a parent. take this to heart and do your best to treat your kids with the respect they deserve.

If you would like to contact me email grahame.howard@hotmail.co.uk

Copyright 2025 Grahame Howard. 

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If you would like to contact me, grahame.howard@hotmail.co.uk

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